OK so the winner of the competition is................
"Just think of England darling, at least I got to you first, poor Mildred over there knows exactly what's coming (and it won't be her!)"
Ok so the minds of the inhabitants of this house live in the gutter too. Can you let me have your address so that I can post you your little prize?
Also sorry to everyone for being so late posting this but the start of term really just took over.
Thank you for all your comments, I had lots of little chuckles as each one was posted.
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